Friday, May 18, 2012

Werewolves, Toads, and other critters..Dealing With Horror Tales/Tails

Part 2

Little Red Riding Hood has Got Nothing On Me...

I will confide in you I've had plenty of battles in my life and also wars. Being a Fairy Godmother is not always covered in pink frosting and star sprinkles although Fairy Sweets makes the best kind. I've won every time and not always by victory as you might imagine. Remember sometimes succeeding can masquerade to your opponent like you lost but it's not so. So let them think you've surrendered since they'll get bored when you no longer want to "play" with them and be their chew toy.

How to Spot a Werewolf in Human Attire:

*The person is an aggressor or bully

*Always sniffs out our vulnerabilities and brings you down

*Enjoys intimidating other through the likes of showing off, bragging,
or malicious gossip.

*They like to bite into your life by sniffing around in things
that are really not of their concern

*Often show without realizing it that they're always hungry for more

*You catch them in a hair full of lies that are not good intentions for you

*When they scream it sounds like howl full moon or not

* Their noses always seem to whiff out when you extra time, money,
and the come around only then to get their paw claws on you

A word of warning: There are a decent lineage of Werewolves that don't fall into these guidelines..sometimes they can
be fierce protectors, very loyal, family oriented love dogs or nature, and always know where to find things (I'll share some personal stories)...but then there are the ones like above.  You'll know who is who. As they say people always reveal what they really are...

Tiny solutions for Dealing with Werewolves

*Identify the person as a werewolf; having that name dedicated in their honor will help you keep in mind
who and what they really are.

*Make sure to speak up for yourself in an affirmative tone (not explosive..not yet anyhow..)  you don't need to be rude, angry, or cause tension just make sure to let them know you are in command. Sometimes  you may also need to end what you're engaging in with them and end it as quick as you can.

* Wear a symbol of protection. Werewolves don't enjoy silver or moonstone so you can wear silver earrings, necklace, etc. and anything else that may have moonstone in it or a part of it. wearing a fairy necklace will spice up things too since even though Werewolves have a powerful stature (not always in a physical sense) but are intimidated and shake at the sight of the wee folk.

*Have allies around you like strong friend and other spiritual figures to motivate you.

*Remember werewolves can be vicious and have a deep, gripping bite. When a Werewolf tries to deceive or bring you down you need to let them know you know just what they're mastermind plan is. They'll try to convince you you are the lunatic (yes, I used that word on means being intuitive or using your instincts..) and if so that's great assurance you've caught there sharp nails trying to scratch out your eyes to the truth. A werewolf is frightened when their secrets are exposed.

*Don't EVER apologize for being empowered. Werewolves like to prey upon those who have yet to fully
accept being a leader and defending oneself. Then they make you feel guilty or that you did a no-no. Not so. That's another trick of the Big Bad Wolf. Don't be fooled..because most are.

I want to close this by saying Little Red Riding Hood may have been innocent at first but she asked questions when her grandmother (really the wolf) disguised himself. Do the same just as an investigative journalist would.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Sassy Fairy Godmother's Quips and Wisdom for Mortals... Fun Fiction

A Fairy Godmother Is...

Part 1

Being a Fairy Godmother is not at all like the infamous Fairy Tales you've been tricked by. A Fairy Godmother's job can be grimy, life threatening, make you cuss (not just in spells..) and we are not always decked out in a sparkly dress, high heels, or a huge, obnoxious tiara. I wonder if these story tellers (liars) inhaled too much pixie dust to think that an outfit like that would really be convenient for what we need to do?

A Fairy Godmother actually wears running shoes, a good pair of skinny jeans (and we have spells so we can get into them no matter what our size) vintage T with wings on the back because we need them somewhere as always having them out really gets in the way, and a large Vera Bradley tote bag (and yes it has to be Vera Bradley because that is just the way it is..we like bright patterns) to keep our iPhone in and other treasures. Most of use even make magic apps to use like the Insensitive Boyfriend touch of the button and they do vanish..for all eternity. No one is quite sure of their location but it doesn't matter. Then there is our glitter lipgloss which is to be expected, oil face blotters, bronzer, shimmer eye shadow and other enchanted items that are made to appear as one thing (take for instance our mascara is actually a wand....get has a wand so it makes sense to disguise it as that.....).

Oh yes, we Fairy Godmothers are modern, chic, and hip...well some of us. Some are more traditional and would never dare wear pants or not wear their crown. They're are also cliques, more gossip than those celebrity rags which are fairy tales and Vengeful Fairy Godmother's...which is not to be seen as a negative. I will get into that a bit later.

I happen to be known far and wide in the magical realms for my sass. It's not something I'm afraid to use anymore.

*Stand up to a jerky, self-centered wizard..I do that often and will continue to do so. They aren't that hot...Check.

*Turn men into actual toads that act like that beforehand..yes please.

*Make a dragon apologize for rude manners when they burp in my face...

Sass is Class if done without acting too much like an A**. That is my mantra..I actually have a shirt I wear that says just that.

You may be going um..why would a Fairy Godmother want to tell a human this and how can it apply to life in the mortal layer?

Firstly, I'm retiring at the old age of 28..yes, it's much like a career of a model (having to deal with rich warlocks is one thing we have in common.) You start when you're young. I began studying for my Fairy Godmother doctrate at 12 and finally got my degree just 3 years the implications that Fairy Godmother have such a fun job can be true but we work hard to get those privileges . You leave when your wings are fully grown and look their best. Although I will confide that some godmothers use anti-sagging cream to keep their wings perky and young. I just drink green tea.

Secondly, I've lived in  a world much foreign from yours but things can  mirror from our realm to yours and vice versa more so than you could ever fathom.

I wish and hope these incantations and other tidbits help you along the way.

 If not than that's okay. I don't care if you approve of my writings or not.

As always with anything of the magical kind use with caution and laugh often.

PPS Just because we have wands and magic doesn't mean we are lazy or don't lift a finger...and yes we can also use our fingers as wands but that wasn't the point. We enjoy what we have but also remember to be modest....there are ethical codes we must follow..but as you already know that doesn't always happen. Wink, wink.

Love, Sassy Fairy Godmother